The day I feel blue...

How many friends do you have? How many friends should we have?

I don't think I'm a person who has more friends than others and can easily make friend. Though I have enough number of nicest friends from both of my own and foreign country and feel content I have often had trouble to find the people I can trust and feel easy with. In my heart I have been always a stranger in my own country throughout my life and sometimes felt hate for my own people for they always demand their compatriot to be same ... feel same, talk same, act same. Being "ordinary" is very important for them.

I love traveling abroad - in foreign country no one expect me to be "ordinary", everyone knows I am a stranger and is tolerant of it, and they often approve my effort to understand their culture - but in our own country no one praise us because all of us must - should be able to understand and follow the standard of course!
I'm not a vagabond, I generally follow the Japanese standard and I know I cannot live outside of the ordinary society still sometimes I feel... how many more years can I stand with these people, this short-sighted society?