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about Mari
Feb. 29th, 2024 09:13 pmI have a long relationship with my friend Mari. Never being very close but we have been friends for about 40 years.
Mari is a smart lady who has graduated from one of the best universities in Japan, got a job at one of the biggest companies in Japan, then quited the job to study abroad. She has read many books, can speak good English and understand Russian, has learnt horse riding and traveled overseas many times. And she has good looks. But she has been mostly unhappy, always worrying. According to her she is always treated unfairly in the office, her co-workers and bosses are all stupid and never understand her. First I and other friends sympathized with her and got angry for her, but after some years we have learned that she herself had never listen to nor understand other people's saying and worries, always obsessed with her own problems and can never imagine what other people feel. She has wanted to get married to a smart, good looking man with a high income and complete understanding of her, have children and nice family since her 30s but never found a suitable man. She is now 60 and still brooding on why she failed in finding a partner.
When she was younger, she showed good nature, for example the vivid curiosity about many things or motivtion to study. But recently every time I talked (or wrote, or e-mailed) to her - most of time I try to cheer her up or give her some advice to feel easier - I run into quite unpleasant experiences in the end because she always assert that she is right, I am wrong, I don't understand her at all etc. She behaves as if she loves being unhappy and feeling miserable.
Now I know well that she is mentally distorted, morbidly persists in her own opinions. Her interest is always just in herself. What a waste of life and talent! So, in spite of her intellect and our mutual good will and friendship, she is a quite unpleasant person to associate with. And now I believe this is because of some disorder in her brain, very close to "mentally disabled" condition.
You might ask me why I don't give her up, don't break off the relationship with her. Well ... one of the reasons is that I still feel she is my friend, and furthermore, I can learn what I should do and what I should not do or say from her inappropriate attitude.
Not keep grumbling about what I have not got in the past, but count what I have in my hands. Not ask others for pity and help but help others first when I can. Not complain of the loneliness but say hello to anyone who passes by me. These are all Mari - her shameful attitude has taught me. They are sometimes difficult to do but I try to do. And I hope Mari herself would learn the same thing some day.
Mari is a smart lady who has graduated from one of the best universities in Japan, got a job at one of the biggest companies in Japan, then quited the job to study abroad. She has read many books, can speak good English and understand Russian, has learnt horse riding and traveled overseas many times. And she has good looks. But she has been mostly unhappy, always worrying. According to her she is always treated unfairly in the office, her co-workers and bosses are all stupid and never understand her. First I and other friends sympathized with her and got angry for her, but after some years we have learned that she herself had never listen to nor understand other people's saying and worries, always obsessed with her own problems and can never imagine what other people feel. She has wanted to get married to a smart, good looking man with a high income and complete understanding of her, have children and nice family since her 30s but never found a suitable man. She is now 60 and still brooding on why she failed in finding a partner.
When she was younger, she showed good nature, for example the vivid curiosity about many things or motivtion to study. But recently every time I talked (or wrote, or e-mailed) to her - most of time I try to cheer her up or give her some advice to feel easier - I run into quite unpleasant experiences in the end because she always assert that she is right, I am wrong, I don't understand her at all etc. She behaves as if she loves being unhappy and feeling miserable.
Now I know well that she is mentally distorted, morbidly persists in her own opinions. Her interest is always just in herself. What a waste of life and talent! So, in spite of her intellect and our mutual good will and friendship, she is a quite unpleasant person to associate with. And now I believe this is because of some disorder in her brain, very close to "mentally disabled" condition.
You might ask me why I don't give her up, don't break off the relationship with her. Well ... one of the reasons is that I still feel she is my friend, and furthermore, I can learn what I should do and what I should not do or say from her inappropriate attitude.
Not keep grumbling about what I have not got in the past, but count what I have in my hands. Not ask others for pity and help but help others first when I can. Not complain of the loneliness but say hello to anyone who passes by me. These are all Mari - her shameful attitude has taught me. They are sometimes difficult to do but I try to do. And I hope Mari herself would learn the same thing some day.